Weird Weekend

Twice this weekend, I asked someone how they're doing and got way more information than I wanted.

The first was on Friday, after the last day of classes. Not surprisingly this turned into a long night of drinking. A bunch of us walked to the dive bar a couple of blocks away from school. The one that no one from my school besides me frequents. Or has even heard of. This is the kind of place that still has paneling on the walls. For real. We spent a couple of hours there and then headed downtown for dinner, which also included a couple of drinks, then to one of the bars downtown.

We ended up at the place that tries really hard to seem like it's an Irish pub. My city isn't that big but there are a few Irish-themed places. This one feels like a TGIFriday's in Dublin. But there's plenty of room, centrally located, and usually has a band, so people like it when there's a bunch of us meeting up.

I start using the upstairs bar to avoid the line downstairs and on one of these trips I see one of my brother's friend's brothers. Guy I've met three times. I'm sure no matter what I would have said hello, but I've had a few, and classes are over, so I give him a hearty greeting and ask him how the hell he's been. Oops.

"Not good man. My wife threw me out."

"Oh. Wow, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. I got three kids, too." He looks like he's starting to well up. "It's my fucking fault, too."

"Wow. I don't know what to say, man." Then he kinda snaps out of it.

"How you been - you don't want to hear my sob story - how's law school goin?"

"Good, you know, um, a lotta work but, you know, hopefully worth it." What do you say at this point? If I say life sucks, it sure doesn't compare to what he's going through; if I say it's great he might start bawling. Shit. We chit chat about law school for a little bit, but then he starts in again.

"Hey man, how much does it cost to get a divorce lawyer?"

"I don't really know, but jeez, don't think like that, maybe it'll work out." Then he looks me in the eye and says deadpan:

"Dude, don't fuck with me. I out by myself on a Saturday night cause I don't want to go back to my buddy's den. How much?"

"Uh..."

"A thousand? . . . Three? . . . Ten?"

"Um . . . I really have no idea."

"Seriously, what's it gonna cost me?"

Now I'm just about panicked. How much a divorce lawyer gets is not something you learn in LS. At least not through three semesters. But I don't know how to explain to him that I'm not dodging the question, I just have no idea. After some more stammering he lets me off the hook and changes the subject to the Patriots. Yikes.

So then Saturday night, I go out for a late night beer after some studying. Head to this hole in the wall bar. I see a guy I went to high school with, he was a couple of years behind me. Not based on looks, but personality, he reminds me of Fun Bobby from Friends. Always the life of the party, and usually because he was on something. But at the same time he makes the party fun and tells stories, so you end up laughing instead of more than feeling sorry for him. Kind of guy that would probably make a great stand up comedian. So I ask him how he's doing.

"Not good man. I just moved back in with my parents. I'm 30 years old living in their basement. I'm going into rehab next week. If I don't go in I'm gonna die."

"What?" I ask mostly because I'm not sure if this is the set up to a joke or what. I've always known he was a big drinker and recreational drug user, and if I really thought about it I'd probably have surmised that he was probably more than a recreational user. I mean, who's in that good of a mood all the time? But also because I'm just not used to a straight answer/no smile from him. But he's totally serious.

"Yeah man this is my last week of living it up. Rehab next week. Christ, I've lost 30 pounds." he lifts up his shirt to show me. "I feel like shit. Two weekends ago I went to a concert in NYC it took me nine hours to get home." Now he's talking rapid fire. "I don't know where the fuck I was going, what streets I was on. We did an 8 ball, guy I didn't know gave me his crack pipe, I'm driving all around I don't know where. Yeah, if I don't quit this I'll be dead soon."

What do you say to that?

"Good luck man. I hope you do it."

"Yeah me too."

Then he walked off and started talking to a cute girl at the corner bar stool. He went home with her a while later. At first I didn't get that. But after thinking about it - girls like vulnerability. It doesn't get much more vulnerable than that.

Although not literally, it was a sobering weekend. Whatever stress comes with finals and trying to plan an overseas trip inside of two weeks, my life is absolutely blessed compared to what these two men were going through.