The Change Story

Ok, the change story. The smallest bill is a fiver. Twos and ones are coins, as are 50c, 20c, 10c, 5c, 2c, and 1c. So there are eight - count 'em, eight - different denominations of coins (don't be scared of 'denominations,' it just a big word that means different values). Anyway, the USA only uses four: quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Yes, I know that 50c and dollar coins exist, but seriously, whenever you get one, you think "now what am I gonna do with this?" And it ends up sitting on your dresser until you can think of a little kid to give it to for Easter or something.

And unfortunately for me, my instinct was always to toss my change in a jar and roll it up every once in a while when it was time to go on a beer run. But here, a handful of "change" is a dinner out, not a six pack.

And the more I think about it, the reason dollar coins have never taken off in the US is because we still print dollar notes. If coins were the only option, they'd catch on just like here. Although just be ready for people to really want to spend their change rather than save it. For example:

The other day at Dunnes a guy paid for his 9.95 euro grocery tab in change. Except the cashier counted up 9.80. So the guy insists. She counts it again, although clumsily. She gets the same 9.80. I'm holding my change in my hand, cause you know damn well I want to get rid of it, so I put a 20c piece on the counter to help him out. The guy refuses it.

"I counted it before I came. There is ten euro there."

At this point I'm at a loss. There are like five people in line and you're going to quibble over 20c? Even when I'm ready to take a 15c loss? So the cashier calls the manager over to recount. Then the guy gets saucy and throws a 10 euro note down.

The manager, obviously well trained in customer service, insists that they recount it, it may very well be the store's mistake. So they recount. Meanwhile the guy looks at me, with the 'sorry' look. I am such a polly-anna, I say, "hey, no problem, really," although I am thinking why wouldn't you just take my feckin 20c piece you gelled-up superfreak tool. They get done counting. Result: 9.80. I put my 20c piece back down.

THEN, THE GUY TAKES BACK HIS 10 EURO NOTE, PUSHES BACK MY 20c AND GETS 15c OUT OF A SECRET POCKET OF HIS WALLET.

Now I know there are those of you out there who think that the principle of 5c really does matter. I have a message for you people: die.