Born to Shop

Another observation from the grocery store: here in Ireland, they sell "man-sized" tissues. And not just one brand. Every brand, including store brand, has a "man-sized" variety. So here's the conundrum. I'm a man. I need tissues. Do I really buy overpriced, oversized, man tissues? Or do I have enough confidence in myself to stride, with head held high, to the checkout with girly products? It's almost as though I'm buying tampons.

I imagine two big Irish blokes behind me in the express checkout.

"Seamus, have a look at this lad here - he's buyin' regular-sized snot rags!"

"Is he really? What's he, some kinda fruit?"

"Christ, Seamus, if I tried to use one of those tiny things it'd be a sight to see!"

"Laddie, the snot I got in one nostril would use up tree or four o' those little tings! Be a man and get some sizeable phlegm goin'!"

"Indeed, son, show some self-respect! What would your mum think?"

No worries, faithful readers, I stuck to my girly guns and bought store brand, regular-sized woman tissues.