No Time for Stage Fright

One of my recent visitors from the USA asked me after a few pints had caused the need for a few visits to the toilet, only to find none there: "what's up with all the gang pissers?"

Ah, yes, pluming in Ireland is a different deal altogether. Although running across a pub without a men's room toilet is quite rare, the 'gang pisser,' is the rule, not the exception. I think the last time I saw one before coming here was in Fenway Park, actually. Our female readers may not be familiar with the contraption, which is essentially a trough with a leaky pipe running across the top of it to (slowly) flush the former pints down the drain. Often they are built right into the wall and floor, so it's just like taking a leak against the side of a building, except it's legal and a guy might elbow his way in next to you if he really has to go. I'm trying to imagine how nuts it would be to have a guy try and share a urinal that was already being used, but with the trough it is just par for the course. On the upside, this seems to relieve (sorry) the temptation to go in the sink. As a hand-washer, that practice is always upsetting. Perhaps I understate.

Speaking of hand-washing, having one spigot that mixes hot and cold water is apparently a luxury in Ireland on the scale of a super sized soda. Nine of ten places you go have one hot spigot and one cold spigot at opposite ends of a tiny sink. And one of them is always dripping steadily. If I had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder I would never sleep thinking of all the wasted water here. Of course, one thing Ireland is not short on is H2O.

Instead, what it is short on is space. Most hotel showers are on the order of three foot square, or smaller. Mine here is two feet square. I asked one of the roommates if this was typical even in homes and he said, "oh, no. In people's houses they're quite big, up to three foot by three foot." Although I will admit I love the way they'll mount a space heater on the wall pointed at the shower door so when you get out you aren't cold. Brilliant!